History of the Sovereign Nation of Suite 607

At the beginning of the twenty-first century, times were tough for citizens of the 6th floor of Sullivan Hall. With terror and crime at all time highs, and the fierce repression of the 6th floor government tearing away individuality, society had come to a breaking point. Sick of weeks of inane babble and a nation that cared more for professional wrestling than Nobel Laureate scientists, a small sect of brave individuals were ready for change. The grievances of these would-be revolutionaries were brought to a head when the so-called "theme" of the 6th floor dictatorial state was identified as Animal House. Seeing no recourse to this problem other than revolution, the founding fathers decided to set themselves apart from the hordes of conformists around them by seceding from the floor.

To this end, a Declaration of Independence was drafted, modeled after the American document of the same name. Unlike the American model, however, every single citizen of the would-be Sovereign Nation of Suite 607 was to sign the declaration. Even more amazing, this seemingly impossible task was completed in only 30 minutes! With the declaration in hand, newly appointed Secretary of Administration Tyler Bletsch, in a manner not unlike the religious revolutionary Martin Luther, stapled this document to the oppressive 6th floor's Board of Propaganda, where the insipid Animal House theme was on display. A concise document outlining the basic tenets of the new nation, the Declaration flew in face of 6th floor dogma by pointing out that humans "are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the lack of Association with Various Idiotic American Cultural Items."

The history of Suite 607 is in the making at this very moment. Its fundamental belief of freedom from idiocy rings in the heart of every child forced to watch SpongeBob SquarePants, every hard-working employee forgotten in a sea of languid fools, and every cognizant human being made to listen to any modern "boy band."

For more information on the Soverign Nation of Suite 607, please stop by the Suite 607 Congressional Library.