Great Words and Poetry Department

It is here that I will store all great feats of the English language. Poetry is not written, it does not have authors, it is scrawled on restroom walls and formulated in minds deluded by fever and insanity. Obtain such knowledge now!

Live well.
Eat right.
Bustin' makes you feel good.

                              - JT

What turns me on: I love romantic guys who love to kiss every spot of my body while i do the same..mmmm
                              - SpanishDream's LiveJasmin page

"We are here today proving this falsehood inaccurate!"
                              - Sorority girl proving that sorority girls aren't vapid at all

Shinto: The Foundation of a Nation
Food Guy

"To help entwine further itself with Shinto the government used Shinto and Shinto rituals to build pageants that the emperor could participate in or be the object of the ceremony."

"There were fears that MacArthur, the new Allied commander in charge of Japan, would try to 'Christianize' Japan, but while MacArthur was very open about his desire to 'fill the spiritual void of Japan' with Christianity, MacArthur did open the doors to thousands of Christian missionaries after the war, after calling upon the protestant church to help fill the spiritual vacuum."


Do not envision...drilling into your head with a baby.

Ipso Facto
Wynn Han Lam

my neighbor passed away recently so i am assuming there is a graveyard in cary somewhere

Asian Porno Solicitation Sesame Street

I got one of the porno solicitations from somewhere in the Orient a few days ago inviting me to eat someone's "wet count", and I had the vision of myself chewing on the the count from Sesame Street with him counting bites and elaborating on his wetness.
"Vun! Vun bite out ov my head! Two! Two bites out ov my head! <Vy am I so vet?> Three! Three bites out ov my head!"

NASA Rover Name Submission
by NeuralLinker

Dear NASA,

I think it should be called Pippin. The texture and ready and the presence, the race of them, the command! Pippin and drawn straight mustaches. He was saying, "Merry" and had said the devil's brew he said. Also, he followed the branch in her new life. Always to argue an attack...for this world and the strangeness and what he has. Love you truly kind of Mordor, Anna could deceive me. Surely you home tied in these words. Please please by the sight is. Please can choose them! Thank goodness to you had been with.

Bye my own dimension,
Stepan Arkadyevitch, age 8

Feel the Magic
Random WebCT Poster

"Especially, because some the school districts do not make since because a child could a have school closer to them, then the one they must attend."

The Vitals
Mizuiro v025

After all, the vitals of the greatest of the primates is the afterbrain.

Nuclear Bomb Moon Flash Theory

No no no... if you are far enough away, say almost the other-side of the planet, but you can see the moon clearly, and someone standing on top of the nuclear device before it goes off could also see the moon clearly, I think the surviving individual could see the flash light up the moon temporarily... especially if it was during a lunar eclipse, and feel very sad that the other individual, the only other individual to inhabit the made-up universe was no more, they could no longer stand together, looking at the moon, knowing that somewhere far away, someone else was also looking at the same moon, wondering, forever wondering, what life might have been like if it was a dud.

Outer Banks Journal Entries
various Galliher family members

These incoherent journal entries were transcribed from the guest journal at the Outer Banks rental house. Read them immediately!

JT on Liquid Apple

"She could be smoking the baby!"

Ultimate Translation Potato Go!
Altavista Translation of Japanese CD Titles

"With leprosy bean jam accomplice HUNTER (re-arrival)"
"Cancer/gun parade march lock glass field element"


Hmmm...Outside smells funny.

mIRC installation guide, translated from Japanese
BabelFished from http://www.mirc.co.uk/translations/japanese.html

That way reading the indication and advancing and therefore it will go and... resigning it will try jumping from the head!

Affluence leads to anal contractive musculature
from Greg's misreading of an unknown magazine

Greg: Among Tibetans, the good life relegates many women to sphincterhood.
Tyler: ...thats spinsterhood!

more words for your info
from "gizmo" of alt.magick

let me add few more words for your info.
I have a university degree in chemistry and a rational man.
Physically I am strong than average man and to give you an idea..........
If i grab you and I am angry then god can save you.( no offence ).
Thats why when I said I get sick means I don't suppose to get sick often.
Am in power sports since my teens.

It doesent imply that there is some devil who is behind you or there is some
bad sprit following you to harm you, maybe it is some science we don't know

Oh my.
by a 5-year-old at Bill's New Years party

Nobody knows who I'm going to kill.

What you've been up to.
by a tired Tyler

So, what have you been up to, and at where have you been during the times in which you did the things you did that I said before this part of the sentence?

from Rob Chambers, Head of "Thinking Man" Software

We call each other Bean. No one knows why.

A Hearty Reassurance
from Philip

Even when I'm alone, I'll always have my syphyllis.

The Essence of Time
from JT

Philip: Time is tangible.
JT: No it's not.
Philip: ...but it would be.

Humanity's problems would be at an end!

If only there were a detachable immigration penis good for three to five years...

Sex, Love, and Bridges
from JT

"I love bridges and I always want to have sex with them."
This disturbed me greatly untill I realized the word was "brides".

Taliban Ambassador
from CNN.com

"Asked whether the Taliban has nuclear weapons, the ambassador replied, "We can't even make glass, so how can we make nuclear weapons?"


"So is that tomato really breathing, then?"

Harish Jairam

"Nothing really matters" - Queen
Not so much that there isn't anything that matters, but that it is important to understand the concept of "Nothing", for one to understand anything. It is like a modern Zen koan.

Lab 2: An Analysis of the Relationship Between Potential Difference and Quantity of Capacitors in a Circuit in Series and Parallel - Discussion, Draft 1
David Peoples

The theoretical rationalizations of our equations reside in the understanding of capacitors.

JT on hentai

"Something's gotta happen to the body and it may as well be me."

My documentation for the checkIfLeapYear() Function
Tyler Bletsch

 * Listen my children and you shall hear
   of the runtime ride of checkIfLeapYear.
   On the call of this routine on the java machine,
   it will spin to life like a geek on caffeine.
   Up to the processor the commands run in great haste,
   after a few million clock cycles of Java's interpreter waste.
   Through a maze of transistors and up to the RAM
   comes a boolean value fresh from the funcion's exam!
   'Round through the VM its recognized in a flash,
   checkIfLeapYear has its answer in cache!
   Turning about like a ferret on crack,
   the value flies up to the next function on the stack.
   It's duty done and the value on its way,
   checkIfLeapYear sits down for a spell and decides to play.
   Half-Life then opens with a fresh new saved game,
   and the function just sits and calmly takes aim.
   Three headcrabs down and a zombie to go,
   no wonder this damn language is so laughably slow!
   @param year  Positive integer represending the year to evaluate.
   @return      A boolean value indicating if, in fact, the year is a leap year.

The creation of the universe
Robert on the creation of the universe

"They gotta come from nothin, but what about before that?"

Wound testings
Saturday Night Live rerun vs. Microsoft Speech API 5.1 Voice Recognition

But wound testing and this is a highly ineffectual speech to text done dune know when it would be no move And move the world and and when the event at rant group and with move it reappears person and the game and last name units boosted in ceyhan Holcomb will be a whole new meaning to go out and like she will can eat it will I keep them into this region and can it get like chief Blakey like she like she will Agee right to be the right 88 white T. only one E. E. Lee Willie me bring in right knee will that's pretty cool and the use and include near a good narrowing care only one edu we will leave me bring in right mean that will bats pretty cool and the use and include near a good narrowing case care because you three when it says over and over the theory checked equilibrium been terrible only one E. E. D. U. we will leave me bring in right knee and that will bats pretty cool a neat and the use and include near a good narrowing case^because you three when it says over and over the theory checked equilibrium been unindicted admin known as beef the independent duplicated that phrase fairly perfectly evenhanded equilibrium and that long and in 1,900 and Max planck propose that like contained energy discrete bundles are packets called photons shortly after I install and the DEA showed that this photon energy with directly proportional to the frequency of white way or inversely proportional to the blue point though the light 98 G. is read on all the actor Hines all the shooting these votes in the week. He'd read sea of white way or inversely proportional to the blue point. The light of new and Whitney and in the vote of them with them and the feeling that Syria and opened up the network on the bottom and continental and your own LAN, at the time now that it either. The right amount engine plant hot-signed on. There is one advantage into that and down cruises that number three: men hectic here but in a home agent and one in on him and the the knee and men noon noon in the name new name and then an NT admin then bad thing in my mind I, and then I use Menendez continental lowest Illinois united airlines raises in the reunion that I know rotations over a Williams idea of one wonders of these is withdraw its his cause it is our homeland-views over the boys don't believe in you guys are IA but also knows of those he was white house wide-using the 1976 and I you will we won a national championship game boys say hello to all welfare of steel bars of the land voice and data the Asia where the land landlady of-office LAN plan at them what they know and then the disease easy and dad used away their land zeal high then menus and video high land and he and he is the third one year when a CEO's in the same the video and data on vault and loans and I visited only the lines and no one is no plan is the plan is designed men as the lady that how many of the Cohan bad-mouth he was the new note a him the down-and not known own way as the Adelaide eight AM news's A. K. A. S. N. the column all of the land, a girl in the media is aiming to line: the LAN a LAN net data in the Menendez ( the IE last mod I am an men who knows the day of the way the other than means the highest honor the higher end the new use those on the schism in the navy the legal fees and then the. The area any them that's today that the that the design, the Palestine one reason is that the amazing the then-the diseases of the page and a dad hot bat hah that in mental and they as bill is then now at the high that plan that the high a half thing high the June the half men men kitchen, if you're the sizes plan still is in the fray in nineteen high nineteen hits at the state who knows the food and then menaces men's uses his immense the sixth seamen's lance, if then if if C. Flanagan June and she thought her thievery in Asia bad the thesis of the men to solve then the thing is the reason many things I-


Ah springtime in the...in the...the........I have so many fingers................

The purpose of youth.
Haunted Junction (anime)

Leave it! Chase it!

Youth is all about intestines.

The spirit beside lake
NeuralLinker and Tyler Bletsch

A complete short story written entirely by AI using my NeuralLinker program. I edited its output to make it human-friendly. Read it now!

Magnesium Report
Random iMesh user

This report on the element of Magnesium was acquired accidentally during an iMesh session. It remains the greatest scientific investigation of a single element ever published. I assume the author was awarded the Nobel Price for Chemsitry for revealing the shape of Magnesium. Read the full text in its original, unedited form.

No, no its not
Tyler, upon viewing Greg's battery powered halogen lamp

So it works consistently now?--IT'S BURNING! IT'S BURNING! IT'S BURNING!

Much Smarter, Indeed
random Anime FTP login message


Old Words
origin lost in the bowels of ICQ history

"Her dog eats diapers and mattresses."

Reflections: Hentai
by JT

I have THOSE?!

unknown origin

Alot of it, and I quote: "doesn't sink that fast" [mindage]

from JT

Entropy is a cheap justice.

To Remind Me
by me

That's why I put these towels on!

Don't Go In There
by me

United Colors of Ass...Part 5?!

by me

Eeh, I still have the burrito in my pocket.

A Hearty Plan
by me

Just plop it right in the bear.

NeuralLinker's Wisdom: Titles
by my program, NeuralLinker, reported 2-13-01

When asked about a good title for a magazine:
This after my god love.
Good fellow.
Good night in their spreading as we emerged.
The good sword.
Excellent young people.
Excellent sight of its mind.
A shade paler still.
A gloom we can't have passed.

by Larry, found 2-13-01 in Atrium men's room

Live a little
up your

NeuralLinker's Wisdom: Pippin and Dildos
by my program, NeuralLinker, reported 2-6-01

When asked about Pippin:
Pippin had half an affair.

When asked about dildos:
The scent of marriage.
The spirit of the girl's breasts.
The governess and their toes.

Filing Cabinets
by me, written on bed pad 2-3-01 during high point of Flu fever

Try to cut open peoples' backs...
See if they fall more.
(Filing cabinets.)


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