Journal - 3 October 2000: Deadly Electric Tazers: Not Just for Homicide and Self Defense Any More!

It takes approximately 30 million volts for a spark of electricity to jump a distance of one meter. To do so, there must be enough voltage to conduct through a gaseous atmosphere, a difficult task for the mere electron. My suitemate has constructed a device that sparks across a distance of approximately one millimeter, or one thousandth of a meter. This may seem like a small distance until one realizes that it requires 30,000 volts to perform this action. The average wall outlet provides by default only 110 volts. Conclusion? Said device produces 272 times the voltage of an unmodified wall outlet. What is this device powered by? A nuclear helium reactor? 20,000 C batteries? 3,333 9-volt batteries? The will of God? Nay, it is powered by an unmodified wall outlet. How is this possible? Ah, the wonders of modern electronics. But enough with the technical ramblings of how it works. What can it do? Just about anything except kill you. How do I know? I touched the leads, completing the circuit. The sensation was not wholly unpleasant, and was shared by everyone present, numbering 5 people in total. Why aren't I dead? Besides my burning lust for revenge forcing life into my ailing frame, pushing it in an unending walk of torment until I smite the man who has wronged me so, it is due to the type of current carried on the line. The homemade tazer produces direct current (DC) output, not alternating current (AC). AC causes death, even at low voltages, by interfering with the atrioventricular nodes of the heart, stopping it (and also starting it, as demonstrated by our friends on E.R.). DC does not pose this risk, and can only kill you if absorbed in sufficient quantities to literally fry your flesh. This was not the case with the 30,000 volts I absorbed. Greg, the creator of the homemade marvel that weighs less than a pound and can be adapted to run off of a small battery, has plans of adapting it in some fashion into his Halloween costume. God help us all.


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