Journal - 6 October 2000: The Train, or, Why I'm Immortal

I have my laptop out as a ride the rails to Raleigh. 'Tis but a four hour trip. I'm sitting on the left side of the train. Interesting, the train just passed by State, right in front of Sullivan Hall, where I was but a few minutes ago. That will most likely be the last interesting thing I see out of the window for a while. ETA is about 9 pm. Thus, the majority of the trip will be in darkness.

Well then, lets see what other human beings are within visual range. There is a tired looking girl in her late 20s to the right of me. I don't believe she could look less interesting. In the next aisle an old woman with grayish blonde hair is straining to read a book in the bumpy train. I predict she'll give up shortly. In front of me, evident from his head peeking around behind the seat is a young child, probably five. His father is with him, and he is chatting with someone I assume to be his wife. Further boredom, I can't even make any predictions as to what will occur with these people other than they will probably continue to not be interesting. Thus, it all comes down to the old woman. Unless I want to start busting out the movies this early (I loaded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz before I left), she is the only source of interest.

Come on, old woman! Be interesting! Change positions while trying to read, or give up altogether. Don't keep craning your neck like that: it's not healthy. Perfect, I have some former Olympic gymnast reading here; she has no need to shift or adjust while reading. I give up; I shall view a movie.

Damn it. I forgot my headphones. Unless I want to pipe untranslated Japanese to the whole of the train, there will be no Gundam Wing this day. Damn it all to the bowels of bloody, bloody hell! Well then, let's check out this safety card. Interesting, interesting. It turns out I should exit the train if it should crash, catch fire, or otherwise become incompatible with continued life on my part. This is quite a claim, given that they have no conclusive evidence. Sure, train wrecks have killed other people in the past, but they have never killed me. Thus, there is no proof that a train wreck would endanger my existence. In fact, it is entirely possible that I am immune to any and all train-related damage. Come to think of it, nothing has killed me to date. Conclusion: I'm immortal.


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